Saturday, September 13, 2008

In the past few days we have realized that Jilly's specific memory of her weeks in the hospital extends back only to a week ago yesterday when Jeremy and Katie arrived. I think she recalls some conversations she had in the days just before that, but the whole picture definitely isn't there.

What's surprising about this is the fact that she was apparently so lucid for at least a week before her memory kicked in. She talked about all her plans for the fall, and described in detail the concept of her dissertation. Many visitors proclaimed that she was totally herself again. Which maybe she was, only without the short-term memory.

I suppose we could be once again deluded, but Jillian now seems in full possession of herself. She still wants to get out of the hospital, but she isn't trying to recruit conspirators in her breakout plans any more. As her good friends echo my own concerns about how she needs to rest and build up her strength, she is entertaining the notion of staying in New Mexico for more than a minute or two.

Of course we were not surprised to hear that Jilly has no memory of the accident or her time in intensive care. What did surprise us was how far that extended (a week and five days) into her time on the 6th floor. Those were difficult days: Her attention span in therapy sessions was short; she seemed able to sleep for no more than fifteen minutes at a time; with the trach still in she required nebulizer treatments throughout the day; and she was soooo thirsty. I think her mind protected her from these discomforts and cleared the way for real consciousness only after the trach size was reduced and she passed the swallow test. This meant she could speak, drink, and eat. I'm very glad she doesn't remember those battles with the blue hose or the refusals of people she loves to give her water.

This afternoon we have permission to take her out to the movies. I think the short walk will do her good, but if it wears her out we'll take a cab, adapting our plans as we proceed.

All our best to all you who continue to follow this story.

Ingrid